Motivation

Having trouble getting up off the sofa and going to the gym? Can't seem to achieve your goals? Keep procrastinating on starting that project?


As a practitioner of NLP, Dr. Irwin combines this powerful modality with hypnosis to actually create new neural passages to your brain, forever changing your default setting, so that you can have the life you dream of. Just ask yourself: Where are you now? Where would you like to be?


You can design your life. Your only limitations are your fears and lack of action. Hypnosis can help propel you through both of these.

Dr. Irwin can help you set SMART goals and attain them, AND enjoy the process!

 

SMART GOALS

“One cannot be content to creep when one has the urge to soar.” Helen Keller

As we are now well into the second half of the first decade of the New Millennium, many of us look back at where we’ve been and where we’re going. As we all know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different outcome. So if you resolve to re-commit to any unfulfilled goal (lose 10 pounds, quit smoking, find a new job, etc.), I have some suggestions for taking the struggle out of the process and adding some ease and enjoyment.

You can live your life by your own design. Some of us can afford to have designer clothes, a designed home, a trainer to design our body, a mentor to design our career, etc., but we can all afford to design our own lives. Follow this easy three-step process to effect the changes you want to make in your life, and you will soon find yourself living powerfully, on purpose, and by your own design.

STEP ONE: Change your language, change your life. The dictionary defines the word “resolve” as “to dissolve, melt, or change by disintegration.” With such negative connotations to that word, no wonder we fail! Change your “New Year’s Resolutions” to “New Year’s Declarations.” To declare means “to make known formally, to state emphatically.” Our founding fathers knew this…..can you imagine the “Resolution of Independence.” By focusing on what we do want rather than what we don’t want, we can change powerfully, rather than by default.

STEP TWO: Write your goals down. You can write them in your journal, in your Palm Pilot, or on a cocktail napkin. The physical act of writing anything down is self-hypnotic, and sets up an automatic awareness for your subconscious to begin attracting resources, information, anything you need to attain that goal. You may have heard this called coincidence or synchronicity, but it is simply a natural ideomotor response that you generated by feeding your subconscious new instructions. In her inspiring book Write it Down: Make it Happen, Dr. Harriett Klauser states that people who write down goals are 90% closer to manifesting them. Why not give yourself that head start? If you do not achieve your goal, there is no need to beat yourself up. You simply review your progress, get any feedback necessary, map a new strategy, and re-commit. Write it down again and this time you’ll be 180% closer to getting that goal. Further, as soon as you attain one goal, create another. Keep a constant “Things to Do List” for your life.

STEP THREE: Set Smart Goals. In order to set yourself up to succeed, follow these guidelines and prepare to soar. Make your goals:

Specific and Simple. The subconscious, which is where all behavior comes from, needs clarity and precision. Broad goals such as “I will be happier in 2006” are too vague. As yourself what specifically would make you happier? A new career? Make that your goal. The subconscious is a doer, not a thinker, and it must receive the bottom line, crystal clear bulleted targets: “I’m enrolling in law school.” Or I’m being promoted to vice president.” Or “I’m becoming a non-smoker.” Don’t flood the engine of the subconscious with TMI (too much information) such as complex business plans and financial projections from the data processing department.

Measurable and Meaningful. How will you know when you’ve gotten your goal? Make it easy for your subconscious to help you attain your goal. “I’m making $250,000 this year.” “I’m doubling all sales quotas.” These are “idiot proof” measures that anyone (including your subconscious) can recognize and applaud.

Your goals should be meaningful to you. I can’t tell you how many people think they have no willpower or that they constantly self-sabotage. Actually, at the root of it all, they simply don’t want that goal. Perhaps they keep failing the Bar Exam because they really don’t want to be an attorney…they’ve been trying to please their parents, or someone else. Make sure your goals are in line with YOUR dreams, because it will show up in your work, in your health, in your heart, in your face, and in your life.

Achievable. All Areas of your Life. Act as if you have it now.

There is no point in chasing after a goal that is unachievable (although with quantum physics, the unachievable is beginning to be a thing of the past). It’s an unachievable goal for President George w. Bush to hold a third term. There are certain professional standards and limitations that we must honor, and allow them to guide us setting our goals.

Your goals should also positively affect All Areas of your Life. When you live a life by design, you will probably want to have some balance. If your family or health suffers for your business goal, then the goal is not worth it. Choose goals that enhance all the other areas of your life.

Act as if you have it now, and it is simply a matter of time before it becomes reality. This is not delusion …unless of course you are constantly affirming that you are the Queen of England. You begin calling yourself to a higher level, clearing fears and obstacles out of your way, and summoning all the forces of the environment to fall in line with the new you. It is rehearsal. It’s training your subconscious to draw its attention to your goal to manifest it. You will be shocked and amazed at how many “coincidences” begin occurring when you stand in your commitment.

Realistic and Responsible. Our goals must be realistic. I can hardly expect to become an attorney if I have not completed law school and passed the Bar Exam. Our goals must be in line with our training, experience, as well as our desires.

Set responsible, ecological goals. It may not be responsible to open a liquor store if your spouse is an alcoholic. Rethink any goals that may damage the environment or cause others to suffer.

Timed and Toward. Give your goal a deadline (first quarter of the next year by March, in 5 years, etc). If you miss the deadline, no need to beat yourself up. Simply reset it and re-commit. Quantifying and qualifying goals keep us in action and fosters a fun, sportsmanlike spirit about it. When we simply say: “I’m becoming a better golfer,” then losing just one stroke has technically made you a better golfer. Setting a specific goal (“I’m consistently scoring within 3 points of par by the end of this year” gives you a healthy sense of urgency in attaining your goal.

You might consider designing a goal that moves toward something positive or pleasurable as opposed to moving from something negative or painful. When we want a new job just because we hate our current one, we will probably recreate the same misery, if not worse. This is because we get what we focus on. For example, Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream was not based on moving people away from racial injustice, oppression and discrimination, but rather it was toward brotherhood, equality, and freedom for everyone. Use this as a map for a world of difference and power in your goal attainment.

So rather than focusing on losing 20 lbs. because you are a fat pig who can’t get your clothes, focus on overall health and fitness and fitting in that ideal suit size again. The first mindset has a limited, negative charge (down) and the latter is positive (up) and limitless. Where are there more possibilities: in outer space or in the ground?

Now go out and get your goals.

 

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BORN TO WIN!

As a doctor of psychology and a therapeutic hypnotist, I know for a fact that we are all born to win. We learn to lose, and what we learn, we can un-learn.

A precious baby enters the world as a completely open conduit of love, acceptance, trust, and joy. Barring any predisposed physiological conditions or addictions, the infant does not have any desire for self-defeating thoughts or habits. It never enters the infant’s mind that its every desire cannot be met. Alas, we learn to lose. We learn to lower our expectations and to sabotage ourselves, and then come to believe that we deserve less or none at all. A baby has no desire for a cigarette, self-deprecation, or numbing out. The good news is that whatever negative habits or beliefs we learned, we can un-learn, and return to that natural infantile state of bliss. There is a plethora of modalities for un-learning and healing, one of which is therapeutic hypnosis.

Hypnosis is a naturally occurring state and has been studied for centuries. A far cry from the “squawk like a chicken or sing like Elvis” stereotype of stage hypnosis, all of us unconsciously experience the hypnotic trance on a daily basis. We are all self-healing vessels, and our bodies naturally take us to this necessary state so that we can decompress and recharge. We bookend our day in trance: we wake up in a highly suggestible state, and return to that state upon retiring for the night. Have you ever waked up or gotten in bed and felt like you were “zoning out?” Like you were “out of it” even though you were really still awake? That’s trance. And it’s an extremely valuable state for accessing your personal power. There is absolute gold in the mine of your mind. While it is important to monitor our self-talk at all times, it is crucial to do so in trance, as the subconscious is fertile soil for manifesting what you affirm during these powerful, vulnerable times. If one affirms healthy, supportive, positive beliefs and goals, rapid change can be effected with repetition and vigilance, whether or not one consciously believes it can or not.

The conscious mind, which houses our logic, reason, decisiveness, rationale, and willpower, is only about 12% of our mind power. So the subconscious, which drives ALL our behavior, comprises 88% of our mind power. The really good news is that we can align both these storehouses so that we have 100% of our power supporting us in attaining our goals. Think of it like this: the subconscious is a machine…like your car or your computer. While both are powerful machines, they are really just big heaps of metal that are only as effective as their driver or operator. The conscious mind is the “brain” and the subconscious is the “brawn,” and the very good news is that the subconscious is extremely obedient. It indiscriminately follows any order it is given. Can your car discern whether you drive to Vegas or New York City? Does your computer judge whether you work on Excel or Power Point? Do they care? So, you can drive or be driven. You can allow your subconscious to keep driving you with beliefs like “I’m a fat pig” or “I could never make $100,000 a year” or “It’s impossible to quit smoking,” and your subconscious will manifest those statements as reality for you. Similarly, it is immaterial to your subconscious mind (and your car and computer!) if you are a smoker, freak out around the opposite sex, bite your nails, have a sexual dysfunction, achieve your goals, suffer from insomnia, have writer’s block, fear flying or public speaking, etc.

Understanding this theory of the mind empowers us to access and utilize the enormous power we were born with so that we can live rich, full lives and attract the ideal mate, create a fulfilling career, earn a dream salary, and free the inner winner. There is simply no need to live as a hopeless victim of our subconscious. We were born to win, and winning can be our default setting. Hypnosis is a powerful modality in which we can harness the vast personal power that we ALL innately have. It has nothing to do with intelligence. Do you know a naturally brilliant person who can never seem to get out of his/her own way and constantly operates beneath his/her potential? Conversely, do you know someone of average intelligence who is wildly successful and always wins? Perhaps man is not created equal when it comes to inherent intelligence and abilities, but personal power is certainly a level playing field. Just like we all have the same 24 hours in a day and seven days a week, we all have the ability to plug into our own power source.

Therapeutic hypnosis is unlike stage hypnosis in that it is conducted in a private clinical setting, one-on-one, like traditional psychotherapy, and basically does for the mind what massage therapy does for the body. The hypnotherapist treats one issue at a time, honing in on the learned obstacle(s) that is blocking one’s path to freedom and through the deep state of relaxation, the client can gain rapid relief.

Michaelangelo once stated that to create a masterpiece, he looked at a raw chunk of marble, visualized his final sculpture in it, and simply carved away what was not part of his vision. Designing your life works the same way. There is a masterpiece in us all waiting to be free. Grab yourself by the gold and shake off the dirt. By plumbing the depths of the subconscious, your inner winner emerges.

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Imagine looking around you and only seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling appealing things. Imagine coming home from work to a home where you love every single thing you see. Where every single thing has a purpose and a space, and you know exactly where everything is, and it all functions beautifully.

You CAN live this way!

Do you have clutter in your home or office? Are you behind on bills? Are there stacks of papers or other items that have been there since the 80’s, and you are waiting to get “a round tuit?” Are you simply a busy person, or are you a packrat or a hoarder? If you are a chronic packrat or hoarder, you may consider seeking professional help and/or medication to feel safe without the “protection” that all your “stuff” provides.

Well, there is a direct psychological parallel to “stuff” out there; whatever is going on in your head is generally reflected in your house. Certainly some of us are more affected by our environments than others….some of us are more sensitive than others…some seem to frankly be completely oblivious to mess. Some actually swear that they do better with a mess, but it is generally an organized mess, yet they’d be even more functional if their environment were more efficient.
Yet underneath it all, they are simply comfortable with the familiar.

Many people would love to have an organized environment, but keep procrastinating while their piles of stuff and their guilt/fear/anxiety increase! Here are Ten Tips - - some really simple steps to help you get started on a cleaner house, head, and life:

1. Make a list of every closet, drawer, etc. that needs to be cleared. For example, master bathroom: 8 drawers, one linen closet. Home office: 6 desk drawers, 5 filing cabinets drawers, sofa stacked with papers. This crucial first step is not to overwhelm you; quite the contrary, it’s to give you the big picture so you can break it down into easily manageable baby steps. Allow yourself all the time you need…..one or two hours a day or a week. This entire project may take you weeks or even months to complete. But you will feel better every single step of the way…..just imagine the burden being lifted by simply starting! Some couples and families find creative ways to do this together.

2. Next, prioritize which area needs to be tackled first. If you are close to bankruptcy, you might want to handle your office first. If your spouse is researching divorce attorneys because of the bedroom clutter, you might want to start there. Get your list in order, and choose one room, one area to make your debut. Pick your favorite time of day and day of the week to work on this project. Write it in your calendar/datebook/Blackberry and honor this date with yourself as if it were as important as a DDS or MD appointment so you are psychologically geared up for it. If letting go is already difficult, why not set yourself up for success by making it easier in every way possible? Enroll a friend of family member to help you, but only if he/she can be lovingly decisive. If you have children, allow them to help you. Know that you are modeling excellent behaviors for them to take on and pass on to their children. You are training them to be more decisive, organized, and let the small stuff go. Wear comfy clothes, put on your favorite upbeat music, and have your favorite meal and beverage (or fresh flowers, etc.) ready for you as a reward when you complete this.

3. On D-Day (De-clutter Day): Take every single thing out of the closet or drawer. Vacuum and/or clean out all dust and dirt. Thoroughly. Have rags and antibacterial cleansers handy and perhaps an air freshener. Polish the furniture. You may wish to line drawers with paper, and/or add organizational dividers.

4. Next, sort items into piles of (A) must keep because I use it frequently, (B) not sure, haven’t used in a while, and (C) haven’t used in years and frankly forgot I had it. Remember, nothing is gone forever. If you find later that you discarded something you still need, you can get another….perhaps an updated, better one. When we hold onto the past, we deny the future possibilities of improvement.

5. Put all of C items in a garbage bag and label for your favorite church, charity, homeless people, shelter, mission, or Salvation Army. OR, label for the garage sale you will plan when complete with the clearing phase.

6. Sort A items in an organized fashion: color code, size, etc. You can get very inexpensive racks and containers for drawers and closets that will keep all your items neat and orderly. Call me anal, but my closet is arranged (and labeled) DRESSES, SUITS, BLOUSES, PANTS, SWEATERS, and all color coded within the category. A REAL time saver when I want to mix and match.

7. Revisit B items and rate each on a scale of 1-10 in attachment, 10 being you really feel attached/scared to let it go. Anything scoring 5 or lower goes you know where…….in with the C items for recycling or garage sale. Another way to deal with the Bs is by asking yourself: Is this item a reminder of my past, or in line with my future?

8. Repeat this cycle in every area of your home or office. You will probably feel like your home has “lost weight,” as indeed it has. Enjoy the feeling! Celebrate with that favorite meal, beverage, flowers, etc. You’ve earned a treat.

9. With all the items you are letting go, have a garage sale and make a few extra bucks. Or take to a local eBay seller and have them do it for you. Or give away the items to a friend, a college student, to a shelter or Salvation Army or a church. Remember, you are not losing these things…..you are recycling, sharing with others who can really use them. You’ve outgrown them. Others need them more than you do.

10. If even the thought of this is overwhelming, you might consider hiring a master of Feng Shui, a personal organizer, or a clutter buster, to come in and work with you patiently through every step of the process. Be prepared for emotions to come up. A good Feng Shui master or organizer will know how to walk you through this crucial phase. Keep a journal close by if you are working this alone, and write out your feelings. Bottling them inside you is exactly what is bottlenecking your home’s energy.

After you’re done, you want to put a maintenance plan in effect to insure continual comfort and psychological health. Once a week, more or less, check in and survey your home or office. Throw away or file away everything you can. Organize bills in a chronological fashion and keep in some sort of TO BE PAID stack. Look at it every week and see what needs to be paid. Debts (like excess pounds!) are definitely a form of clutter. Check out your closets and clothes drawers with every season’s change, or just at the New Year, to clear out the C items, and survey the B items.

A healthy psyche can flow as easily as a ship on an open sea. Imagine how difficult it would be for a ship to sail through cluttered waters. It would take enormous energy and time to maneuver around obstacle after obstacle.

Here’s to smooth sailing on the sea of life!